


Stay (I need you here)

by maggie33



Category: S.C.I.谜案集 | S.C.I. Mystery (TV)
Genre: Episode Related, First Kiss, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Treat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-14 21:34:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19281622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maggie33/pseuds/maggie33
Summary: Bai Chi helps Zhao Zhen deal with the aftermath of the events in episode 15.





	Stay (I need you here)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lynndyre](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lynndyre/gifts).



> I love this ship and your prompts were very inspiring. I hope you’ll enjoy the fic. :)
> 
> Big thanks, as always, to Rei for beta-reading.

The house seemed empty and silent. _No, no, wrong word_ , Zhao Zhen thought. It didn’t _seem_ that way, it _was_ empty and silent, despite enthusiastic welcome from Lisbon when the door had opened. Zhao Zhen sat heavily on the couch, house keys still in his hand. Lisbon was trying to get his attention and pushing his snout onto his knees. Zhao Zhen put his hand on the dog’s soft fur, but he didn’t even have the energy for petting.

His mind started to fill with chaotic thoughts: flashes of the earlier events, intertwined with some half-rational thoughts about things to do – funeral arrangements, his statement for the police, something else he was sure he was supposed do but had somehow already forgotten about. He felt numb and cold, but couldn’t find the strength to get up and find a blanket or a sweater. Lisbon sat down and with an urging whine put his head on his master’s lap. Zhao Zhen thought that if he could cry maybe he would feel a bit better. But the tears didn’t want to come, and there was only this overwhelming feeling of hopelessness and regret. 

Suddenly Lisbon turned his head and whimpered softly. The door was half open; Zhao Zhen must have left it that way. He stared at it blankly and then he heard footsteps. The footsteps stopped and after a few seconds’ pause there was a quiet tentative knocking. Lisbon waddled outside, panting, with his tail wagging happily. And even without the dog’s reaction Zhao Zhen knew who it was, because he would recognize that knock anywhere. So it wasn’t a surprise when Bai Chi peeked into the room.

“Oh, you’re here,” he said, with a cute little frown on his face.

He came inside giving Lisbon a few absentminded scratches behind the ear. Zhao Zhen smiled despite himself. For a very short moment he almost managed to not think about today’s events and just enjoy Bai Chi’s presence here in his living room, and Bai Chi’s adorable half-smile. 

Lisbon butted his head against Bai Chi’s leg demanding more petting, but Bai Chi ignored the dog and came to sat down by Zhao Zhen on the couch.

“I wanted to see how you were,” Bai Chi said gently.

Zhao Zhen looked at him. He knew he should say something, but somehow he couldn’t. Bai Chi winced, wringing his hands.

“I mean, I know it must have been hard... You probably don’t feel very well... And maybe you want to be alone... But I thought...” Bai Chi trailed off, dropping his gaze to the floor, a light blush on his cheeks.

Zhao Zhen’s heart squeezed painfully. Now he did feel crying, but not really because of what happened today, but because of a sudden deep gratitude he felt. He thought he was all alone in the world right now, but it appeared that there was someone interested in his wellbeing. He stared at Bai Chi, but he found it hard to translate his emotions into words. Bai Chi waited for a while, but when Zhao Zhen still didn’t say anything, he sighed and stood up.

“I’d better go,” he said hesitantly.

Zhao Zhen stiffened in a sudden fit of panic. No, no, no, Bai Chi couldn’t go. Zhao Zhen didn’t want to be alone. He caught Bai Chi by his sleeve.

“Stay,” he said, voice trembling.

The movement made his left arm graze against the back of the couch and he hissed in pain. Bai Chi’s expression instantly turned soft and compassionate. He sat down again. Zhao Zhen leaned back, trying to take the pressure off his sore arm. He rubbed it lightly, but the pain didn’t go away. It must have shown on his face because Bai Chi’s look turned to concern.

“Do you need something? A painkiller?” he asked. “Tell me where it is and I'll bring it to you.”

Zhao Zhen felt a lump in his throat. And it wasn’t gratitude he felt right now. It was shame. Because he didn’t deserve that kindness, he didn’t deserve Bai Chi being nice to him. Because he wasn’t a good person. Because it was all his fault. The scene from the cemetery played in his head again. He heard Uncle Meng’s derisive voice, and then the gunshot and the blood everywhere and… He shivered and turned his gaze away. He couldn’t look Bai Chi in the eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so, so sorry.”

Bai Chi took his right hand and squeezed it gently, but then he didn’t let go, he just kept Zhao Zhen’s hand in his.

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” Bai Chi said softly.

Zhao Zhen raised his eyes. The compassion and understanding in Bai Chi’s eyes made him even more ashamed. Ashamed and unreasonably angry.

“I do. He almost killed that little girl,” Zhao Zhen said harshly. “And it’s all my fault.”

Bai Chi flinched at the vehemence in Zhao Zhen’s voice.

“It’s not... It is not your fault,” he said.

But Zhao Zhen wasn’t listening to him.

“Bai Yutong was right. I should have said something, done something 10 years ago. I didn’t. I thought I could control Uncle Meng, I thought that this was a one-time thing. I was an arrogant, overconfident teenager,” he said.

He looked Bai Chi straight in the eyes.

“10 years ago when I found out, he apologized. He got on his knees and begged for my forgiveness. He blamed Uncle Jue’s influence,” Zhao Zhen continued, his voice becoming more and more heated. “He said he would never do that again. And I believed him.”

He gave a bitter, disdainful laugh.

“I was such a fool,” he said, feeling nothing but contempt for himself.

Bai Chi didn’t say anything, just stroked his thumb gently over Zhao Zhen’s palm in a slow, soothing gesture. And it felt as if a dam broke and Zhao Zhen found himself talking, throwing the words out, unable to stop.

“I was so afraid of being left all alone again. Uncle Meng was my only family back then. My parents died when I was very young. For a while there was only Uncle Jue and him. And then there was only him. He raised me. He was so good to me, so patient, so understanding. Thanks to him I could travel the world, pursue any interest that caught my fancy. He was always so encouraging. He took care of things at home. Thanks to him I didn’t have to worry about such ordinary things as paying the bills or buying food. He always smiled so happily when I came back home after months abroad. I thought he loved me. I thought...”

His voice broke dawn and he bit back a sob.

“And now I find out that he was raising me to become a serial killer. What if he succeeded?” Zhao Zhen said hotly.

Bai Chi looked at him.

“You’re a good person,” he said with conviction.

Zhao Zhen snorted and wrenched his hand away from Bai Chi’s grip.

“No I’m not. How could you even know that? You don’t know me at all!” he shouted.

“I do know you,” Bai Chi said calmly. “You protected me. You protected me from him.”

Yes, he did that. Zhao Zhen couldn't refute that argument, and the dull throbbing in his left arm was the reminder of that event. He looked into Bai Chi's sure, clear eyes and he couldn't help smiling a little with a weak, shaky smile, despite a dark voice in his mind calling him a fool.

"See, I'm right. And you know I'm right," Bai Chi said, smiling back. After a second of hesitation he added "You’re just too proud to admit it."

In any other circumstance Zhao Zhen would laugh at Bai Chi’s cute little effort to get a raise out of him. Right now he was just grateful. Because it felt good, it felt almost like before. Sitting here with Bai Chi, talking with him. The turmoil inside Zhao Zhen seemed to quiet down a bit. But he dreaded the moment when Bai Chi would leave and he would be alone with his thoughts again. He just had to convince him to stay a while longer.

“Tell me something,” he said.

Bai Chi looked at him, startled.

“But what?”

“I don’t know. Something. I just....”

 _...want to listen to your voice_ , Zhao Zhen finished in his mind.

“I just need a distraction,” he said instead.

Bai Chi fell silent for a moment, pressing his finger to his lips thoughtfully. And then he started talking about meeting his cousin Bai Yutong when he was very young and sharing other amusing stories from his childhood. Zhao Zhen listened, but more than the stories he enjoyed the calming timbre of Bai Chi’s voice and the animated look on his face.

Suddenly Bai Chi yawned, covering his mouth with his hand. He smiled sheepishly and almost instantly yawned again. Zhao Zhen felt simultaneous affection and guilt for keeping Bai Chi awake for so long. He didn’t want to be alone, but he couldn’t keep Bai Chi here indefinitely.

“You’re tired,” he said. “It’s really late, you should go and catch some sleep.”

“I’m not that tired,” Bai Chi protested, trying to sound convincing. But the effect was destroyed by him yawning for the third time.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “It was a long day. I guess... I am a bit tired.”

He smiled and stood up.

“I’m going to make coffee,” he said. “Do you want some?”

Zhao Zhen shook his head no. He leaned against the back of the couch, following Bai Chi with his eyes. It was so soothing to observe him in Zhao Zhen’s home, looking so at ease, as if he belonged there. Zhao Zhen felt a little bit better now and calmer, the emotional turmoil pushed deep down inside and locked away. Not for long, he knew. But for now it was enough. He realized he did feel tired, too. But the thought of falling asleep and facing his demons in his dreams scared him. He thought that he should have asked Bai Chi to make him coffee after all. But that could wait for a while. His eyelids suddenly became very heavy and his body was refusing to cooperate. He would get up and join Bai Chi in the kitchen, and ask for coffee. In five minutes tops. But right now he just wanted to close his eyes for a while. And he did.

 

****

 

He woke up. For a few seconds he felt good and rested and warm. He was still on the couch, but he was covered with the blanket and his head was resting on his fluffiest pillow that someone must have brought from his bedroom. He smiled thinking about that someone. But his smile faltered when the memories of yesterday’s events came back with full force into his mind. He breathed deeply, trying to fight back the tears, but it was already too late. His hand tightened on the blanket when he felt wetness on his cheeks. Soon he would start sobbing uncontrollably and it would be horrible and...

“Zhao Zhen, you’re awake.”

He turned his damp eyes in the direction of the voice. Bai Chi was standing in the doorway clad only in his T-shirt and boxers, hair tousled from sleep. When he saw Zhao Zhen’s face he looked unsure for a second, but then his eyes got soft and serious. He crossed the room, sat on the couch and before Zhao Zhen had a chance to react, Bai Chi embraced him tightly.

Zhao Zhen stilled for a few seconds, but Bai Chi didn’t let go. Just pulled him closer without a word. And Zhao Zhen allowed himself to break down and started crying helplessly in Bai Chi’s arms.

He didn’t let go even when he calmed down a little bit.

“You stayed,” he mumbled into Bai Chi’s neck.

“I couldn’t leave you like that,” Bai Chi said. His hand sneaked into Zhao Zhen’s hair and stroked it a few times in a comforting gesture.

Zhao Zhen let out a shuddering breath. He straightened and pushed Bai Chi gently away so he could look at his face. He saw nothing but kindness and compassion there.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Bai Chi smiled.

“Let’s make some breakfast, ok?” he said.

 

****

 

After that night Bai Chi started to visit Zhao Zhen more often. Sometimes he would drop by after work, often with some tasty treat. He even cooked a few times, simple, but nourishing meals, after berating Zhao Zhen for not eating enough.

It was nice to have Bai Chi here. Puttering in the kitchen, taking Lisbon for a walk or just playing with him in the garden. Sometimes Bai Chi would mention the latest case they were working on, and sometimes he only listened patiently to Zhao Zhen complaining about an incompetent manager or some other daily inconveniences. It was so domestic. Lisbon already treated Bai Chi as a member of this household. And somehow Zhao Zhen unconsciously started to, too. He got used to Bai Chi being here and tried to pretend that he wasn’t disappointed when sooner or later Bai Chi had to leave.

Bai Chi even stayed the night a few times. One of those times Zhao Zhen later found a T-shirt Bai Chi slept in, left in the bathroom and forgotten. Zhao Zhen picked it up and, before he had a chance to think about what he was doing, he pressed it to his cheek, enjoying the touch of soft cotton and Bai Chi’s clean smell. This was the moment when he gave up and stopped lying to himself that what he was doing was just some harmless flirting. Because this was definitely something more. Something that excited and scared him in equal measures.

Bai Chi became someone he could lean on in dark moments. And he liked to think that he was someone whom Bai Chi could lean on, too. Sometimes the way Bai Chi smiled at him and the way his eyes lit up in genuine joy made him hope that maybe his feelings weren’t one-sided. But sometimes resignation and doubt was all he could feel. Because what if it was just Bai Chi’s kind nature and gratitude for those time Zhao Zhen protected him. Or even worse, pity because of Zhao Zhen’s fucked up life. He wanted to say something a few times, to ask, but the fear of rejection was too strong. So he reverted to the safety of teasing and flirting. He scolded himself many times for being a coward, but it didn't help. Somehow any time he tried to be serious and say something, his brain refused to cooperate and what left his mouth was often the opposite of what he really wanted to say.

Like last time Bai Chi cooked him dinner. After they ate Zhao Zhen was subjected to another speech about the necessity of eating homemade meals instead of takeout. Zhao Zhen was smiling all the time through the speech, enjoying Bai Chi's serious, but also super adorable look, and the concern in his voice. It made Zhao Zhen feel very warm inside.

“You should move in,” he said, when Bai Chi finished talking.

As if on cue Bai Chi’s eyes widened and a blush colored his cheeks. Zhao Zhen carefully avoided putting too much hope into his eyes or voice. He smiled cheekily. That way he could pretend it was just teasing, nothing serious about it. 

"Well, you say I don't know how to feed myself. That way you would be here to keep a close eye on me," he said and winked.

Bai Chi huffed, dropping his gaze to the floor.

“You are so shameless,“ he muttered.

After that Zhao Zhen brought up Bai Chi moving in a few times, but in the end he always turned it into a joke. The only result was that Bai Chi stopped blushing every time he heard that statement and started looking at Zhao Zhen with an exasperated affection, sometimes coupled with a soft, pleased smile, that Zhao Zhen firmly ordered himself not to read too much into.

Sometimes he thought about how much their relationship had changed since that time he first saw this cute little sceptic at his show announcing indignantly that all magic was a scam. How he had decided to flirt a little and tease him and maybe teach him a lesson about what a good magician is capable of.

Zhao Zhen hadn’t recognized Bai Chi then. Only later when Bai Chi appeared in Zhao Zhen’s house in the company of Chief Bao and two other policemen did he realize who that cute little sceptic was. Bai Chi must have already known who Zhao Zhen was, maybe he had recognized Zhao Zhen earlier, because he didn’t even want to enter the house. He pretended, very badly, that he felt unwell and stayed outside. That picture of him in the sun playing with Lisbon was what triggered Zhao Zhen’s memory about a little boy that he had scared such a long time ago with his magic trick.

And now they were friends, weren't they? And now Zhao Zhen wanted them to be more than that. But maybe friendship was enough. Maybe he would be happy to just have Bai Chi in his life as it was. But no, who was he kidding. He wouldn’t be happy just as Bai Chi’s friend. He wanted to kiss him, to hold his hand on the street, to wake up and see Bai Chi in the bed next to him. He wanted to say “I love you”. And most of all he wanted for Bai Chi to say “I love you” back.

 

****

 

It all came to a head one day when he was looking for Bai Chi wanting to give him some information regarding SCI’s latest case, but also planning to invite him to a new, fashionable restaurant. He was feeling playful, so instead of calling he dropped by the SCI office. Bai Chi wasn’t there, but he managed to convince his colleague, a girl in glasses, who was napping at her desk, to give him the information about where Bai Chi went to. Truly speaking she didn’t even need that much convincing. She looked at him clearly irritated at being woken up, and mumbled the name of the street in a sleepy voice. And then she went back to her nap.

And that’s how he found Bai Chi in the front of the closed magic shop, about to be robbed by the three thugs, who thought they had found a helpless victim. Well, not on Zhao Zhen’s watch.

He got rid of the thugs quickly and effectively, enjoying Bai Chi’s delighted smile and his gaze full of admiration. Which quickly turned to exasperation when he couldn’t help himself and started teasing Bai Chi about his inability to defend himself. 

Later they talked about the case until Bai Chi got that thoughtful look in his eyes and seemed to kind of forget about Zhao Zhen for a moment. He walked away abruptly and Zhao Zhen ran after him.

“Bai Chi, wait!” he shouted.

Bai Chi stopped and turned to him. He frowned as if he was surprised that Zhao Zhen was still here.

“What do you want?” he asked grumpily.

Suddenly his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“How did you even know I was here? Were you spying on me?” he asked.

Zhao Zhen smiled, because that serious look and that little frown on his forehead made Bai Chi even more adorable.

“I was looking for you,” Zhao Zhen said. “I wanted to invite you for dinner.”

“You could... call me?” Bai Chi said, frown deepening.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Zhao Zhen said, smiling. “And who would save you from those guys if I wasn’t here, hmmm?”

Bai Chi looked at him and Zhao Zhen prepared himself for an indignant tirade about Bai Chi being a cop and perfectly capable of defending himself and not needing any help. And probably also something about Zhao Zhen’s audaciousness.

But Bai Chi just smiled softly.

“Yes, you saved me. Again,” he said.

Zhao Zhen’s heart did a complicated thing, when it squeezed in his chest at the same time feeling like it was ready to burst. As a result for a few seconds he was unable to do anything more than stare at Bai Chi with what he was sure was an embarrassingly sappy look. He forcefully squashed the feeling of hopeless love and tenderness and tried to smile his usual cheeky grin. Bai Chi was looking at him carefully, a contemplative look on his face.

“I don’t want to go out,” he said.

“What?”

“The dinner,” Bai Chi said patiently. “That you wanted to ask me to.”

“Oh, right,” Zhao Zhen said. He got a funny feeling as if he had somehow lost control over this conversation.

“Let’s eat at your place,” Bai Chi said.

Right, well, ok... He definitely wasn’t opposed to that.

“Fine,” Zhao Zhen said.

He was rewarded with Bai Chi’s pleased smile. They made arrangements and he watched Bai Chi leave with one cute wave goodbye, feeling as if something had just happened, something important. He felt as if he should know what. But he also felt as if it was maybe better not to know. He went home filled in equal parts with dread and hope. 

 

****

 

Bai Chi arrived punctually. They ate dinner, and then talked and laughed and talked some more. But somewhere deep down in his heart Zhao Zhen was waiting. He tried to cover his anxiety under his usual teasing words and flirty smiles. _Do something_ , he urged himself silently, _before he gets up and leaves_. But he couldn’t find the courage.

He stood up and ran his hand nervously through his hair.

“I’ll get us some wine,” he said. “No dinner is perfect without some wine. Or maybe you prefer something else? Brandy? Whiskey? Beer? Or maybe…”

He abruptly stopped talking when Bai Chi stood up too and leaned in very slowly. Zhao Zhen could swear that his heart stopped beating and only started again when Bai Chi's lips touched his in a sweet, shy kiss. It ended much too quickly for Zhao Zhen's liking, but it still made him freeze on the spot. He stared at Bai Chi in wonder. Bai Chi grinned.

"If I knew that kissing made you speechless, I would have done that... a long time ago," he said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Zhao Zhen couldn't help but laugh at that, happiness and joy filling his heart. Bai Chi was watching him carefully.

"You must have realized that I liked you," he said.

"I..." Zhao Zhen paused for a moment. "I hoped. I didn't want to push."

"You didn't. You were very patient," Bai Chi said.

He blushed when Zhao Zhen raised his hand to stroke his cheek in a gentle caress. But he didn't protest when Zhao Zhen slowly pulled him closer. And he didn't protest when Zhao Zhen kissed him again. That kiss was deeper and longer. Bai Chi's lips parted under his and he let out this adorable little moan that made Zhao Zhen smile against Bai Chi's mouth.

When they stopped kissing they just stayed like that for a while, embracing, foreheads touching. Zhao Zhen felt the sense of peace he hadn’t felt for a very long time. And the person solely responsible for that was the young man in his arms. He never wanted to let him go. And then he just had to kiss Bai Chi again until they were both breathless.

“So this time you will move in, right?” Zhao Zhen asked after they parted.

He was still holding Bai Chi’s hands, reluctant to let go completely. Bai Chi laughed and gave Zhao Zhen’s fingers a gentle squeeze. 

“This time I will,” he said.

 


End file.
